


Tricks for Treats

by raritysdiamonds



Series: Kinktober of Doom 2020 [3]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Food Kink, Kinktober 2020, M/M, Sparring, bro is it gay to lick chocolate off your bro??, irken elite era, light foodplay i guess?, the tags lie they're not Tallest yet, they're just being dumb and gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27310453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raritysdiamonds/pseuds/raritysdiamonds
Summary: Purple’s a messy eater, but all is fair in snacks and war.
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Purple/Almighty Tallest Red
Series: Kinktober of Doom 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997167
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Tricks for Treats

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for the foodplay prompt, but now I guess it's free day? there's also no actual smut in this but I wanted to get it out technically in Kinktober so...Happy Halloween, I guess!! Have some dumbasses being dumb and gay 👽🎃
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and I'd love to hear what you thought! <3

  
In a remote corner of Devastis, just behind the weapons chamber, a war was unfolding. 

The air was thick with tension as two of the most promising Irken Elites faced off, their gazes locked in steely determination. Boxes lay scattered around them, all that remained of those so efficiently demolished before - but there could only be one ultimate victor. It all came down to this moment: the instant their hands met as they grabbed simultaneously for the final prize, they both knew there was no going back. 

“Gimme that donut!” 

“It’s  _ mine _ \- you already ate six!” 

Red and Purple tumbled to the floor, a gangly mass of writhing limbs and claws as they fought to seize the coveted treasure. The donut slipped back and forth between greedy, grasping hands like they were playing a game of hot shmopato, but all was fair in snacks and war - and Purple was the one to snatch victory from his friend’s not-quite-hungry-enough claws, shoving the generously sized treat into his mouth. He failed, however, to anticipate the amount of chocolate filling; it exploded like a  particularly delicious goo-bomb as soon as he bit into it, landing not only in his mouth but also everywhere around it, the spoils of victory smeared across his lips and chin and neck.

“ _ Cheater, _ ” Red accused him, with the bitterness of a sore loser but the glint in his eye of one yet to accept defeat. “You know Commander Poki’s gonna kill you if you mess up your uniform.” 

“It was worth it.” Purple stuck out his chocolate-coated tongue, chewing as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. “If you wanted it so bad, you should’ve been f _ aster -!” _

His taunt dissolved into a startled yelp, as Red pounced, tackling him to the floor and pinning him by his gauntlets - but this time taking a  _ very _ different mode of attack by simply licking the chocolate sauce from around Purple’s mouth. “What are you  _ doing _ ?!” he half-squeaked, half-giggled, squirming underneath Red’s warm and wet tongue as it reached his neck. 

“‘M taking what’s  _ mine _ .” Red didn’t remove his mouth to answer, the words coming out as a playful growl against Purple’s skin, and  _ that _ was - sure, they sparred, wrestled, messed around maybe more than the average Elites, but they never did  _ this _ before, licking him clean like Purple was Red’s personal snack table. He probably could have pushed him off, and yet - Red had reached his neck now, his dexterous tongue against the delicate (and rarely touched) skin making his squeedlyspooch do flipflops, a noise too pleased to be a protest slipping out. This was  _ different _ , the warm and tingly feeling both dangerously and deliciously illicit - they weren’t doing anything technically forbidden, but they both knew it wasn’t  _ common _ for  Elites - any Irkens, really - to be in such intimate proximity outside of combat. “Mmm,” Red purred -  _ purred _ \- into his neck, the warm vibrations making Purple shiver, which had to be on purpose, “tastes good.”

“I know, I was eating it -“ Purple’s attempt at indignation stuttered when Red nipped at the base of his neck, startling a noise out of him somewhere between a chirp and a moan - whatever that was was  _ nice _ , and he found himself arching into it as if his body had ideas of its own independent from the logical workings of his PAK, ideas that maybe involved Red’s mouth and other places. Red’s antennae perked up at the sound, his eyes flicking up to Purple’s in almost perfect synchronicity as if he could read his mind, and - 

“Elite Red! Elite Purple!  _ What _ exactly are you doing?!”

They froze simultaneously as the sharp, incredulous voice of Commander Poki tore through the air, almost physically ripping them apart; Red jumped back from Purple as if he was a diseased Blorchian rat-person, both scrambling to their feet and standing to  attention like the obedient soldiers they were.

“Commander!”

“We were just, um, uhhh…”

“...Training!” Red came to their rescue, baring his teeth in an only slightly overeager smile as Purple nodded vigorously. “Practicing hand-to-hand. I just...won. As you can probably tell.” 

“Hmmm.” Their superior narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, her expertly trained gaze darting between them as if scanning for any hint of weakness. But there was nothing she could punish them for; there weren’t any rules against snacking, even if it was off of your fellow soldiers. “Well - don’t be late for your next session. Break’s almost over.”

After she marched off, Purple let out a breath, his spooch still hammering in his chest as if he’d just been caught committing treason. He hazarded a glance at Red, who looked as oddly guilty yet exhilarated as he felt; cheeks stained fuchsia like he’d been dunked in razzberries, his antennae lowered and quivering. 

The instant their eyes met, they burst into laughter, falling against one another and clutching each other’s gauntlets for support as the tension dissolved into whoops of delight and relief. Easy, natural, something that couldn’t possibly be wrong - it was nothing like the debilitating emotions and attachments that marked lesser species as weak and defective, ripe for the almighty Empire’s taking. Red and Purple were some of the strongest soldiers Irk had to offer, the brightest, the best and better together. They made sense together. 

“We should get more donuts.”

_"Flerk_ yeah we should.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Feedback is always appreciated <3


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